“Today’s young adults have so many more freedoms available to them, and I think it’s time we had a definition of adulting that acknowledged that people lead different lives and that there isn’t a lockstep set of rules you have to adhere to in order to legitimately be an adult,” Lythcott-Haims said on a podcast. She defines adulthood as “that sweet, delicious set of independent years between childhood and death where we’re well and able to make our own way.”

For many young people, graduating, living on their own, starting their career and other transitions to adulthood can bring up feelings of anxiety, fear and loss, especially during the ongoing pandemic. They may benefit from seeing a counselor or therapist to help them process these feelings. Counselors can help young adults understand that “they’re not alone and that it totally makes sense to struggle right now. They also may be scared at feeling unsettled, which may be a new feeling for them,” said licensed professional counselor Patricia Anderson in an interview with Counseling Today.

Here are some resources to help young adults make their own way in the world. 

As an adult, you are responsible for your own physical, mental and emotional well-being. Here are some resources that can help. 

What to Expect When Going to Therapy for the First Time, Shondaland. This article offers tips and links for finding a therapist (including ones who specialize in serving clients of color or in the LGBTQ+ community), understanding their credentials and what to expect at your first appointment.

Types of Therapy, Psychology Today. From art therapy to trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, there is a specialty for every person and every need, as listed in this guide.

Therapy for Every Budget: How to Access It, Healthline. This article covers what therapy typically costs and how to pay for it, along with free or lower-cost options such as therapy apps and support groups.

3 Things to Know Before You Pick a Health Insurance Plan, HealthCare.gov. Understanding health insurance can be challenging, whether you’re choosing an employer-sponsored plan or buying coverage individually. Find out about the different plan types (e.g., HMO vs. PPO), what your costs will be (e.g., what a premium and deductible are) and how to find out whether your doctors and medications are covered. 

Healthy Eating for Young Adults, MyPlate.gov. Tips for maintaining a nutritious diet, including what to eat for protein, how much of your daily intake should be whole grains and which apps can help you shop for and prepare healthy foods. 

Young Adults and Physical Health: What You Need to Know, Today. There are specific guidelines related to physical activity, sleep, vision and sexual health for people in their 20s. 

8 Important Health Appointments Not to Skip in Your 20s and 30s, Real Simple. Medical experts say prevention is better than a cure: key screenings for young adults, plus what to bring to your appointment. 

Healthy Living in Your 20s, Office on Women’s Health. The Department of Health and Human Services offers this downloadable and printable checklist for healthy daily habits, tests to talk to your doctor about and more. 

9 Actually Compelling Reasons You Should Work Out in Your 20s, The Source. This nonprofit women’s health organization offers tips and statistics that can be beneficial for any young adult. 

Sleep Health, National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute. As many as ​​1 in 3 adults do not regularly get enough uninterrupted sleep. Lack of sleep is linked to many chronic diseases, and it can impact work, school, driving and social interactions. Find out more about healthy sleep and sleep disorders.

Back to top.

Paying your bills, budgeting for necessities and saving for the future can seem daunting if you’ve never been in charge of your finances before. Learn more about money with these resources.  

Two Cents. This YouTube series from PBS offers engaging, practical videos by a married couple who are also financial planners, such as Budgeting Basics, How to Weigh Job Benefits and more. 

So Money. This podcast hosted by Farnoosh Torabi, personal finance expert and CNET Money’s editor at large, covers a wide range of topics related to young adults, such as splitting expenses when living with a significant other and whether it’s recommended to take out a personal loan to pay for a wedding.

The College Investor Audio Show. This short-format podcast covers personal finance and investing topics ranging from getting out of student loan debt, to taking on a side hustle and earning more money, to learning to invest and build wealth.

What Is a Credit Score? You may have heard the terms “credit score” and “credit report,” but what do they mean and how do they impact your ability to open a credit card, take out a car loan or qualify for a mortgage? This article from ConsumerFinance.gov gives a good overview. 

Credit Cards vs. Debit Cards: What’s the Difference? Do they both charge fees and interest? Which is the better choice for building credit? What are the pros and cons of using one type of card versus the other? This article from Investopedia compares the two in detail. 

Five Tips for When You Can’t Pay Your Bills. What happens if you don’t have enough money to pay your rent, electric bill, student loan payments, etc.? Ignoring them is not a good idea. This video from ConsumerFinance.gov outlines practical steps for prioritizing your bills, delaying payments and other actions you can take.

How Do You Know You’re Getting a Good Deal at the Grocery Store? A simple tip to saving more when food shopping is understanding unit pricing. If one can of soup costs more than another but is larger, it may be a better deal. This article explains how to read the labels to make the smartest purchase. 

How Much Should I Spend on Rent? Before you sign the lease on an apartment, it’s a good idea to know your numbers: How much can you afford to spend on rent? What are your other monthly costs? Will where you live create other costs, such as commuting? This article from personal finance site Nerdwallet breaks down the math and offers ideas on how to make it work. 

Free Budget Spreadsheets and Budget Templates. There are many different ways to budget and track where you spend your money, and many tools to help you do so. Nerdwallet’s roundup of free online tools including downloadable worksheets, apps and budget calculators is a good place to start. 

10 Tips for Negotiating Your First Job Offer (and Every One After That!) Accepting the first salary offered can cost you over time. A study found that neglecting to negotiate just $5,000 more could mean the loss of more than $600,000 over the course of a career. This CNBC article gives tips on being prepared and confident in your negotiations. 

Understanding Your First Paycheck (and Why It’s So Much Smaller Than You Thought). How does your annual salary translate into take-home pay? What are all those taxes being taken out? And what if you’re a freelancer? This CNBC article breaks down the math and tells you what you can expect from your paycheck.

Back to top.

Successful adulting requires understanding many things you might not have had to think about before you went out on your own: insurance, laundry, basic home maintenance and more. Luckily there are lots of resources to turn to for help. 

The Ultimate First Apartment Checklist. Besides furniture and decor, you’ll need a number of essentials, such as clothes hangers, a can opener and a vacuum, to name a few. Real Simple has put together this room-by-room checklist you can print or save on your phone as you gather everything you need for your new space. 

Renters Insurance: What Does It Cover and How Much Does It Cost? Your landlord’s insurance only covers the building. You will need renters insurance to protect your personal belongings from theft or damage. The good news is that it’s fairly cheap: The median monthly premium for renters insurance in the United States is around $15. 

Auto Insurance Basics. If you are over 18, drive a car and no longer live at home, you will need to have auto liability insurance. Car insurance provides property, liability and medical coverage in case you are in an accident. This article explains the six different kinds of coverage that comprise a basic auto insurance policy and affect the cost. 

Essential Things to Keep in Your Car. Besides a spare tire and your insurance info, what else should you have in your car? AAA lists what you’ll need for safety, on-the-go maintenance and protecting yourself from the elements on a road trip.

Dad, How Do I? Father of grown children Rob Kenney has 4 million subscribers to his YouTube channel, where he teaches viewers practical life skills like how to jump-start a car, how to stop a running toilet and how to tie a tie, peppered with dad jokes.

How to Do Laundry: A Step-by-Step Guide on the Right Way to Sort, Wash and Dry. Good Housekeeping offers practical tips to clean and care for your clothing and linens, including how to wash specific fibers, what all those laundry symbols on clothing tags mean and how to get rid of common stains. 

Essential Life Skills for Teens: The Laundry Episode. If you’ve never done your own laundry, you may not know whether you need to sort your clothes by color or type or how to set the washing machine to the right temperature. If you’re a visual learner, this video—part of a series by the Goffstown, N.H., Public Library—walks you through the steps. 

The Ultimate Guide to Dress Codes: What to Wear for Every Occasion. Do you have to wear a suit to a job interview? What does business casual mean? This article from Lifehack offers some guidelines and suggestions for making a good first impression in work and social situations. 

How to Navigate the Shift From College Student to Real-World Professional, According to Career Experts. There’s more to navigating adulthood than having the right clothes and paying your bills. This article, part of Real Simple’s Adulting Made Easy series, offers advice from therapists and career coaches on managing anxiety, creating structure and finding your purpose. 

Back to top.

There are a number of books that offer advice, guidance and strategies to young adults on how to navigate work, money, relationships and more. Here are a few. 

How to Adult, A Practical Guide: Advice on Living, Loving, Working, and Spending Like a Grown-Up by Jamie Goldstein, PsyD 

Adulting Made Easy: Things Someone Should Have Told You About Getting Your Grown-Up Act Together by Amanda Morin 

Grown-Up Stuff Explained: 75 Topics 18-Year-Olds Should Know by Witty Ryter 

Adulting 101: #Wisdom4Life – A Complete Guide on Life Planning, Responsibility and Goal Setting by Josh Burnette and Pete Hardesty

Grad to Grown-Up: 68 Tips to Excel in Your Personal and Professional Life by Gene Rice and Courtney Bejgrowicz

Anxiety Relief for Teens: Essential CBT Skills and Mindfulness Practices to Overcome Anxiety and Stress by Regine Galanti, PhD 

The New Rules of Work: The Muse Playbook for Navigating the Modern Workplace by Alexandra Cavoulacos and Kathryn Minshew

How to Talk to Anyone About Anything: Improve Your Social Skills, Master Small Talk, Connect Effortlessly, and Make Real Friends by James W. Williams

​​Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman 

Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World by Admiral William H. McRaven

It can be challenging for caregivers to find the balance between helping prepare children for adulthood and over-stepping, particularly for parents of children with learning disabilities or those on the spectrum. Here are some articles and books that may be helpful. 

6 Independent Living Skills Kids Need Before Moving Away From Home, Understood.org

Here Are the 33 Life Skills Your Teen Needs to Know to “Adult”, GrownandFlown.com

5 Tips to Raise an Independent Teen to Become a Responsible Adult, VerywellFamily.com

How to Help Young People Transition Into Adulthood, Greater Good Magazine

The Breakaway: A Parent’s Guide to Transitioning the Autistic and Twice Exceptional Adolescent Into Young Adulthood by Thomas W. Welch, PsyD 

The Loving Push: A Guide to Successfully Prepare Spectrum Kids for Adulthood by Temple Grandin and Debra Moore, PhD 

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims  

Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out by Jim Burns, PhD 

Although therapy is becoming more normalized in U.S. culture, there is still a stigma associated with taking medication for mental health. Research shows that medication combined with therapy is the most effective treatment for depression and anxiety, the most common mental health challenges facing patients. But even as the use of psychiatric medications is growing, particularly in adolescents, shame, fear and misinformation around psychiatric medication are causing many people to suffer in silence. 

“Mental illness is physical illness, we just don’t think of it that way,” said clinical psychologist Zeyad Layous, PsyD. Depression and anxiety don’t just occur in the brain, he explained; they have physical symptoms as well—such as fatigue, muscle aches and stomach problems—and medication can help ease those. 

There are a number of reasons people may be wary of taking medication for mental health conditions. Some of the common reasons include:

It’s important to consider language when speaking about mental illness. Rivera notes that many mental health terms have become common adjectives that describe everyday behaviors, which can minimize the experience of those with an illness. For example, people may call themselves bipolar when they experience a sudden shift in mood, but that can feel disparaging to those who actually have bipolar disorder. 

“People want to understand themselves and labeling is an easy way to categorize oneself,” said Layous. “But try not to use too many of those labels unless you have a diagnosis or have really educated yourself on what it means.”

Outside of casual conversation, there are also language adjustments that can be made when talking about someone who has a diagnosis. Whether an individual is discussing themselves or someone else, they can use “People First Language” (PFL), which puts the person before the disability and describes what a person has, not who a person is.

For example, therapist Emily Hionides-Horner, MSW, LISW-S, advises being mindful of language and labels around diagnoses. “This will help separate the person from the illness.” 

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers some suggestions about what we can do as individuals to help reduce the stigma of mental illness and taking medication for mental health conditions. 

Researching all of the medication options available and finding a doctor to prescribe the right medication can feel overwhelming. Layous suggests that people start by talking to their primary care provider or therapist, if they have one. A primary care doctor may be willing to prescribe certain medications or refer individuals to a psychiatrist. A therapist may be able to give the individual a referral to a prescribing doctor. 

However, there are other resources that individuals who are considering seeking treatment may also find useful as they make these important decisions: 

Types of mental health care professionals. Whether a person is looking for a counselor who provides therapy or a clinician who can prescribe medication, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) explains the different types of professionals and what their credentials mean. 

How to find a mental health provider. This New York Times article offers advice and tips for finding a therapist, psychiatrist or other mental health provider during this time of unprecedented demand.

How to find a therapist of color. For people of color, finding a mental health provider they can trust and who is culturally competent is especially challenging. This New York Times article lists a growing number of organizations dedicated to connecting patients with therapists of color. 

Understanding mental health medications. In this robust resource, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) explains the different types of medications—along with their possible side effects—including antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, stimulants, antipsychotics and mood stabilizers.

Medication frequently asked questions. NAMI answers FAQs, such as “What are the side effects of antidepressants?”, “When is it OK to stop taking my medication?” and “Will I become addicted?”

Questions to ask a doctor about medication. NC State University counseling center offers information about psychiatric medication, including questions an individual can ask a psychiatrist or other physician to determine if medication is a good fit.

Getting the most out of your medication. Everyone is different and not every medication is right for every person. Some people will see results immediately, while relief can take longer for others. Mental Health America (MHA) offers suggestions for dealing with side effects, tracking progress and what to do if an individual is considering stopping medication use. 

The best tracker apps. According to Medical News Today, these are the best apps to keep track of moods and symptoms, which can help individuals monitor the progress of their therapy or the effects of medication. 

24/7 Pharmacy Chat. MHA has a partnership with Walgreens to answer patients’ confidential medication questions online. 

Information on OnlineCounselingPrograms.com is not intended to be a substitute for professional counseling advice. Always consult qualified professionals with any questions you may have about mental health treatment.

Therapy is a unique personal journey that may feel tricky to navigate at times especially if you are new to it. While difficult topics or conversations may arise in therapy, being open-minded, authentic and completely transparent can help to maximize the benefits that come with this form of mental health treatment. To be able to do that, it’s important to ask yourself why you are considering therapy and why now. You’ll also want to map out your end goals, including the lessons you’re hoping to learn. 

“…we are trained to help you uncover your internal expert and ask the right questions to help you discover the solutions that are going to work best for you.”

“I think a big challenge is that a lot of times people come into therapy thinking it’s about advice,” said Jennie Marie Battistin, a licensed marriage family therapist. “But we are trained to help you uncover your internal expert and ask the right questions to help you discover the solutions that are going to work best for you.”

The American Psychological Association (APA) describes therapists and clients as “equal partners in the therapy process.” According to experts in the field, patient feedback can help strengthen the relationship between the two parties. So, how do you open up to your therapist in that regard? Let’s explore some tips in the next section.

Therapy is your time and your space to be unapologetically honest with your emotions—the best way you know how.

“You can use profanity or cry if you want. It doesn’t always have to be in a controlled manner,” said Leigh McInnis, a licensed professional counselor and executive director for Newport Academy in Virginia. 

However, it’s normal to sometimes feel self-conscious about the fact that you are talking about yourself and how you feel for an extended period of time. For most therapists, there’s no such thing as talking too much in a session as long as you’re pausing to do the reflective work. 

“A lot of times a client will come in and they’re unloading like a hive of bees, and it’s because they are avoiding what they really need to get to,” Battistin said.

Your therapist is there to help you make that conversation a productive one. If you ever feel like you’re talking too much, consider slowing down and pausing for a moment to consider what you have just shared with your therapist. It’s important to take time to reflect on the factors that brought you to the session in the first place. In doing so, you help your therapist understand what they can do to support and empower you to implement necessary changes in your life. 

It’s also helpful to share your communication preferences with your therapist—and don’t apologize for that either. “Being communicative is the only way for us as therapists to really get to know our clients. Let me know if you’d prefer for me to listen quietly and create a safe space, or if it’s more helpful for me to ask questions and provide feedback and examples,” McInnis said. 

Therapy can be an emotionally taxing experience as it often requires you to explore and express your emotions in a deep, intimate, honest and reflective manner. It’s common to have emotional responses to certain topics that may come up during your session with your therapist. This is your opportunity to learn how to actively engage and confront challenging conversations about emotions. Cultivating this habit in therapy can help you learn how to better express your feelings to other people in your everyday life. 

“We’re often taught to not be too vulnerable with our emotions,” Battistin said. “But therapy is a safe container to explore how to handle and tolerate more difficult emotions rather than bottling them up and suppressing them, which can cause dysfunction in our lives.” 

As a client, let your emotions flow organically even if you feel you’re bubbling over. Understand that a therapist is trained to help intervene, helping you answer questions on how to handle your emotions. When you let your emotions out, you’re better able to harness the tools and resources you learn in therapy to help give you insight into the struggles you are facing as well as some of the patterns of dysfunction you’ve had in your life. 

That doesn’t always come easily.

“It’s equally important to acknowledge that therapy is really hard work and change is hard work for everyone,” McInnis explained. 

Emotional expression and vulnerability in everyday life doesn’t come easily for everyone. In therapy, you may get critical of yourself. It’s normal to feel you have somehow “dropped the ball” or did not meet your own (or others’) standards. 

Battistin explains this phenomenon. She calls it the “Oreo sandwich method,” which means that, as a client, you may be feeling a certain difficult emotion, but you’re also feeling uncomfortable with the level of emotion being expressed or the amount of crying you may be doing during a session. 

The result: You end up speaking poorly of yourself, downplaying your emotions or feeling a lack of self-confidence.

Instead of making statements like, “I’m not good at…” or “I’m a failure,” it’s important to try to express these feelings to your therapist in a constructive manner and be gracious to yourself. And if you are seeking reassurance from your therapist, let them know that. They can equip you with skills to learn how to cope with negative self-talk when you’re feeling really emotional.

When things get difficult in therapy, you might start to feel therapy “doesn’t work for you.” However, this doesn’t always mean you should quit or give up on it. 

Battistin explains that you should aim to have at least three visits with a therapist before you decide to stop therapy or change therapists. This gives your therapist the chance to have enough time to better understand who you are and how you look at the world so they can connect with you in a way that’s meaningful and helpful in the therapeutic process. If you’ve been with your therapist for at least three visits and you still feel that they are having difficulty understanding your needs, try to have a conversation with your therapist since they would most likely be willing to change their modalities. Maybe you would prefer a directive approach or a skills-based approach. When you let the therapist know, they will most likely readjust and not feel offended. 

“I actually really love when my clients tell me things like, ‘Hey, I feel like you really misunderstood me last week.’ We aren’t mind readers and we have no magic wands, so we really do need and invite that feedback,” Battistin explained. 

However, if you do not feel like your conversations with your therapist are helping you, then it may be useful to discuss changing therapists. Battistin said that, in that case, you should feel free to express to your therapist what you need and are looking for so they can refer you to a colleague who may be better suited for you. 

There are a number of factors to keep in mind when navigating how to talk to a therapist. McInnis recommends that clients ensure they’re not filtering their thoughts, feelings and goals. Brutal honesty about your experiences is healthy and is something that therapists look for in clients. 

“I want clients to be willing to be vulnerable and emotionally focused, instead of rehashing and venting, which is something you might be doing with a friend. But a therapy session is different because it allows you to look closely at how you were impacted and verbalize your motivations and desired outcomes,” McInnis said. 

Oftentimes, if you do not feel understood in therapy, you might be putting up a defensive wall. Instead of saying, “you don’t understand me,” consider saying, “you don’t understand my experience,” Battistin said. 

Feel free to verbalize if you feel backed into a corner by a question or if you hear a statement that makes you want to shut down and leave the session. For Battistin, such feedback is particularly helpful as it allows her to understand clients a bit more and how they are interpreting the questions—and that way, a session can be used to explore the history or feelings that trigger a client when asked certain questions.

If you are struggling with any of the above tips, understand that you can communicate this to your therapist and receive advice on how to move forward. 

Therapy is truly a process, not an overnight resolution. It’s designed to give you an opportunity to work through whatever it is that brings you into therapy. So, hold onto that thought going into it. If you are emotionally open and authentic with your therapist, you may be able to achieve the goals you set for yourself at the beginning. 

“Therapy is a space for you to learn how to be comfortable with another human being,” McInnis said. “You’re there to make connections, challenge yourself and, in turn, continue to grow and build resilience in relationships through that connection.” 

If you are considering a career in therapy, consider exploring our therapist career page.

Last updated May 27 2022.

Giving adolescents and teens access to information and ideas about gender diversity can help them build a positive self-image and lead to positive mental health outcomes throughout their adulthood.

Language can be a powerful way to help young people feel empowered and seen. Using affirming language when addressing or discussing gender with young people starts with knowing a variety of gender-related vocabulary terms and what they mean.

Affirming and supporting gender exploration can help with self esteem and benefit other mental health outcomes. Counselors, parents and teachers can help, but many young people may find it beneficial to seek out answers about their identity through their own searching. 

No matter your gender identity, support is available. Use the links below to navigate to different types of resources for nonbinary youth, their parents and their care providers. 

Back to top.

Back to top.

Back to top.

Back to top.

Back to top.

Back to top.